Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Hopefully a Hiccup because I refuse to give up my good times

I don't know how long this blog has been quiet for. I have been having such a good time dropping off my daughter at school, and having energy to play with her and take her places. I have also been talking one film school class and my passions have come back to life. I forgot how much I wanted to do film work and it has really lit my life back up. I go to sleep excited and wake up excited.

I have thought, "I should blog". I forget people actually follow it. But I was LOVING LIVING and having long stretches of not thinking about cancer at all. Coming back to the blog would have popped my bubble.

But a month ago, the Lupron had a hiccup. It did make me menopausal. We thought maybe we were just too late with the second dose. But after the second dose, I got a period too.

After that last period, my energy has been hitting the wall. I can feel that slow drain, like sand in an hourglass. And I was starting feel so tired, I was getting shaky and going to bed at 5:00. I knew none of this was good. But was hoping I was just "doing too much".

Not so, the marker are slowly starting to creep back up, like I thought. It was confirmed this week. That plus the Lupron not working means we have to act. And so we are going to either do radiation or surgery to shut down the ovaries.

I have an appointment with the radiation oncologist today (Hi Astrid!), and will know more about what is next. My medical oncologist thought that we could get me into radiation faster, but she isn't sure it is the best answer, so she is referring me to Astrid to see what she thinks. My medical oncologist thinks that we could get me in faster and therefore shut down the ovaries faster. And it would be less invasive. BUT ....I get to decide which sounds better.

And I JUST got a call from my oncologist. I have NO VITAMIN D in my system. Wow. Vit D is vital in combating breast cancer. So i am going to go a special hi-dose perscription form. She said it isn't uncommon in Seattle. Wew. Glad it didn't mean something in my body wasn't working right!

Okay, so the sand is shifting shifting shifting.

Pray I shift with it well.

Final joke:
You know you are living in a strange cancer world when:
You have a message on your voicemail saying, "Hi Jenna, I had some thoughts about your ovaries, I will try you again later."