Sunday, February 22, 2009

Ah ha!

Oh, this is getting easier and easier to do.......just be kind to yourself. oooooooooooooooooooh, and that only took 34 years and a smack with cancer to figure out. ;)

my heart to yours,

Today I Find Myself

Referring to my own advice funny.


Thursday, February 19, 2009

What to do to shake off a Cancer Funk

Here is a top ten list of things I do when cancer, and all it's baggage (fears, pains, grief) get me down. I do them, even if I don't feel like doing them, and it turns me around. It may not make the pain go away, but it always keep depression from settling in:

1) Tell someone, honestly, how I am feeling. For me, it is easy to just tell surface answers. I don't want to freak people out or overwhelm them. I am always honest, but I will redirect if I don't want to share the details. So when I feel fears haunting me and bringing depressive feelings into the room, I call a trusted friend, and tell them the darkest thoughts I am having. (ie, I am scared it is coming back!, or, I am such a drain on my family and that makes me feel so ashamed). Just saying these things out loud to someone who can do "compassionate listening" (meaning, no advice, per se, just compassion and belief that you can overcome), seems to make them disappear. It is equivalent to being 5, and fearing the boogie man in the closest...once confronted, you discover he isn't really there. It is so easy to let fear replace reality....isn't it.

2) Pick Up a Book from my Healing Pile:
I have a stash of book that I can open to any page, and get tidbits that just remind me that there is hope, there is healing, there is the truth of you and that can never be changed. Some are practical cancer advise, some are universal Spiritual truth that can help shake of the negativity building. Examples:
- Crazy, Sexy, Cancer
- Whole Life Nutrition (yes, a cookbook.. believe it or not)
- That Which You are Seeking is Causing you to Seek (Cheri Huber)
- Peace in Every Step (Thich Nat Han)

3) Pick up a meditation or hypnotherapy CD

- See that sidebar? She is a great one for cancer
- my hypnotherapist made me a CD and gave me exercises. (I will sidebar a list of Seattle based practioners.)
- I have several meditation CD's that are general ones. Look for Jack Kornfield or Jon Kabat Zin.

4) I open the door and step outside.
Simple. Very, very simple. For those of you who have never been in a chronic illness/pain situation, it can slowly and subtly box you in your house and on your couch. Today, when I woke up and headed to my living room to do Qi Gong, my cat ran straight to the cou
ch and laid down. That was a bad sign to me. He associates me with the couch. So yes, when you feel so tired you can't do much of anything, do not much of anything sitting on your front porch. It is guarenteed to turn things around. But you have to go out there with no agenda. Don't try to "get anything done'", including TRYING to feel better. Just be as you are, on the porch, breathing fresh air and listening to the breeze.

5) Eat something filled with energy.
I know you might be too tired to cook. You may not even be able to see your countertop because you are too tired to do the dishes. But always keep on hand a food or two that is guaranteed to raise your energy. For me it is oranges. The smell, oh so refreshing. I can be tempting to eat a comfort food, but notice how you feel afterwards. Probably more sluggish. Go for fresh, light and simple. Even lightly steamed, but plain. If I have energy, I made a Green Smoothie from the cookbook on the sidebar.

6) Watch or listen to a spiritual teacher.

When I am feeling blue, it is sometimes hard to feel "worthy" of listening to spiritual teachers. I get feeling ashamed. I KNOW I am not the only cancer patient to feel ashamed of feeling
sick. So that is why I share that bit of info. So, I override my shame and listen to my spiritual mentors teacher, on tape. Even if I don't retain it, I just let the words of wisdom fill the air and push out my inner critics words. Find your own. Hay House radio is online and a great place to tune it. I also jump online and listen to Kathianne Lewis at the Center for Spiritual Living. They have online podcasts and video. Click on the picture for the link to video.

7) Take a bath.
So, you have all the toxins built up in your system. You have chemo, you have the bi-product of dead cancer cells, you have STUFF that needs to go. Override you need to hide under the covers, or have your caretaker draw you a bath, drop some baking soda (a couple tablespoons) and some salts into a bath. Those will help draw out the toxins and get the lymph system moving again. It is amazing what a congested lymph system will do to your feeling of wellbeing. So get it moving.

8) Cuddle with a pet.
Those cuddly friends of our can do wonders. Yesterday, I was next to my bed, on the floor, crying. The hormones from the Femara were taking me for a ride, I had sweats, then cold, then sweats, I had just woken up and my bones and muscles were stiff and painful. And I was recovering from the flu. My body was just TOO noisy and I was on "incoming information overload". I could pick myself up. But my cat came in and curled right up over my aching collar bones and purrrrrrred. She wanted nothing from me. She wasn't stressed out from taking care of me. I swear, she just wanted to comfort me. And you know what, it worked. It got me up off the floor and moving.

9) Can't get moving? Laid up from chemo or pain? Watch something funny or inspiring.
So, YOU are being overun with hormones and neurochemicals that are "pain pain pain". Let someone else do the work of releasing "heal heal heal". Know the movies that make you laugh, or give you hope. I like to watch "You can Heal your Life" by Louise Hay. She had cancer, and she healed. Amazing movie when you just can't get there yourself. Let someone else who has been there and done that remind you that you can too.

10) I don't have a ten, but to tell you that today might be hard, but just get moving. Depression and the blues feed off of stagnate energy. Just move. Even if all you can do is lay in bed and tighten and release a set of muscles at a time. Just move energy. I have complete faith that even if you are in pain, or in a chemo stupor, that YOU are still in there, and there is lightness, even if you are standing in the shadows at the moment. Just a reminder.

with love,

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Flus, Colds, Zometa - Blugh

So, just spent a few days down with a cold/flu thing. That coupled with Zometa has been mentally challenging. Very. Constant temprature changes from Femara, & hotsweats, coupled with bone pain from Zometa, coupled with stiff muscles, is just getting too much. I go back to, it takes so much mental strength to get through cancer. The body can so easily overwhelm you. And for a year now I have been dealing with pain. I am trying to be patient and figure this all out, find a way to manage.

It sometimes feels like pushing back a glacier with one hand.

I just tell myself, on the worst day, it will pass, we will figure this out, and just keep going.

Anyway, I didn't complain through chemo, but right now, wew. Just a little tough spot. It will pass. I just remember right before Zometa, I felt great.

It is my mantra.

So no insightful blog entry today. Just wanted to post on a "hard" day too. Show you the whole picture.

Love to all!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Meditation on Cancer's Cure!!!!

So, 10 days without a word. Must be getting over the chemo!!!!

Really life is busy busy. Putting things on hold for 7-8 months, well, lots of catching up to do. And now that I have energy to drive again, I am being "mom" again, and going to soccer and having catchup teas and brunches left and right with friends who waited patiently, and all that good stuff.

I have also been dealing with, "What's next?". And I have drawn some conclusions. But more of that later.

One of the big ideas I am working on is this:

I am in the baby stages of organizing this, and would love to know how many people would be interested????? We have cancer walks, but what about a day/time set aside once a year to meditate on envisioning the cure for cancer?????????????? I know people from all over the globe read this blog. But I may do something in a large group here in Seattle, and do an "internet" movement as well.

I am skeeming. Skeeming, Skeeming.


So I am working on it.

Join me?


Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Things that make life fun and worth Living

So cool..........oh, and when you mind is done being blown away.... look at the post below. It was my original post for the day.

Thanks for this gem Jen Lemen!


Cooking Your Way Through "cancer" smancher

Okay, so I am having a "newly converted, going out to evanglize about the wonders of allergen free, whole foods cooking" spree. Here's the deal........see that little picture of that cookbook in the sidebar?.........It could save your life. It has sat there demurely, quietly. But now, I want to highlight it and bring it to the forefront. Tom and Ali are simply brillant and holistic and foodies with a cause and they are sharing their knowledge. And I am taking the next steps to healing, by incorporating this cookbook into my life.

I finally got my hands on a full copy of their cookbook last week and it has become my favorite of all cookbooks. I have read many "allergy" cookbooks, but they seem to leave out the nutrition.

But in THIS is all about nutrition, the allergy thing is just a part of that good nutrition! I don't get Angel Sponge Cake Gluten Free. I get desserts that are delicious, energize my body, calm the inflammation, and combat the cancer!!!!!!!

This cookbook will get out the bad fats, cull out foods that inflame the system (and are linked to countless diseases), save the planet, energize your body and delight your senses. Now if it could only balance the federal budget.

We have been eating out of it all week. My daughter has never eaten so much "good stuff" before. She turned her nose up at the taste. But now, I have her drinking "Green Smoothies" (filled with KALE), and eating about 8 different veggies a day! The food is delicious.

Not only do they give you WHY, but they give you the HOW to cook. It gets into all those topics we have questions about. Safest pots and pans? What oils are best and how do I use them? What does inflammation have to do with my food and my health? Is meat safe? Which ones and why? It is all in there. They have this beautiful chart on a healthy balanced life that I wish to share here. I will ask them soon.

The trickiest part about moving to a Whole Foods, anti-cancer diet, in learning how to incorporate the new knowledge, materials, and foods. I know. I took years, and I am still learning! But what I am learning has me dedicated to "the way of the whole foods". And Tom and Ali's book has given me the final key to open that door permanently!

(Oh dear, I am beginning to sound like on of the spam emails!)

Thank you Tom and Ali! I wish I had understood these things years ago. It has me fired up and inspired to learn and share!!!!!

I swear, I do not get a commission on this. But if you are doing the cancer dance, or the food allergy dance, or the heart disease dance, or want to live full of energy, THIS is the book. I wish I was Oprah, I would hand out this book to everyone I met.

It tells you why, it tells you how, and then you get the recipes to back it up.

Right now, I am drinking my Cranberry Cabbage smoothie! YUM.
Yesterday, we made the Cranberry Spice Muffins.
The night before, Lemon Lentil Soup.
Lunch today, more of the Arugala Salad with the Lemon Dressing.


I had to share. This could be the cookbook equivalent of "AntiCancer".

Okay, that's my story. Check out there website by clicking on the link.