It was the day after my first chemo treatment. Or somewhere shortly thereafter. I don't know. It was all a blur. I just remember being on the couch, my goddess of a mother in law sitting quietly by in case I needed anything.....and I remember thinking "What the hell did I just get myself into?".
I could feel it in my veins. Everything going acidic, and heavy. I felt like I was being taken apart cell by cell. All I remember thinking was:
"This does NOT feel like healing energy.....what have I done?".
And then, my acupunturist came that day. She talked to me, about what, I remember very little. But she set me up with what supplements to take, what to avoid (to my shock, she even told me not to take my vitamins on days I felt like I couldn't, because "your digestive system can't break them down, it is too damaged. All you will do is cause more harm"). She assured me a time would come when it would be time to drink green drinks and take my multi's, but today was not that day.
I knew I was working with the right person.
When she went to go leave, my mother in law said, "Oh, my goodness! You look SO much better. Watching you wither was saddening. But NOW, look at you! You have energy back, you have light in you again!"
And that my friends....is what an acupuncturist can do. Not just any ole acupuncturist. Stella is an acupuncturist and naturopath mixed with part guru, and part energy visionary.
There was this pressure, because I graduated from a naturopathic medical school, to "go green". But I did what we teach. I listened to my body. And my body told me, "You need the chemo". Not out of fear of dying, but because my body's wisdom was strong. If that is what we teach, than we had better practice it, even if it goes counter to the "natural" healing movement.
And Stella agreed. I was blown away. She honored my body, and guided me through my journey thus far. You can change doctors. You can change hospitals, but you can't take away Stella.
She knows cancer. She knows the ways the hospitals and doctors run in this town. And her goal is to do everything to support what they are doing, not to undo all the good they did, but to not allow it to do damage, and to enhance the bodies immune system to help in the transformation.
She allowed me my anger.
She allowed me my fears.
She allowed me do whatever I had to do, and taught me to honor the process.
Dance if I felt the urge.
Sing if I felt the urge.
Scream if I felt the urge.
Hide under my covers, if it was what my body was ASKING for.
If it weren't for her, I never would have allowed myself my "crazy" days of crying and rage about it all. I would've tired to stay strong.
If it werent' for her, I would've tried to do too much, not stay in bed on the days I needed it.
And when she walked in, and said, "Are you have this, this, this and this happening...." and I said, "How did you know?!" She put a needle there, there, there, and there....problems resolved.
I attribute my high immune system counts to here. I attribute my overall sense of well-being to her.
When people in the waiting room starting coming up to me and asking "What are you doing? You look so healthy, I don't understand why you are here. I see you every week.....but, you don't seem sick. What are you doing?" ......I gave them Stella's number. (yes, this happened more than a few times in varying degrees.....).
This process with Stella, while it gave me vitality I otherwise would have lost, it didn't come easily. Some days were detoxing days. Some days I was so low on energy...and Stella would make sure I honored it, and rested. So I could have days of pure energetic bliss.
It didn't make all the ills of cancer go away, but it sure made the journey much much better.
She really worked with so much attention to the whole system. She didn't want to flush out the chemo, but she did want to direct it to where it needed to go, and leave the rest alone. She wanted to heal the areas of cancer, but not at the expense of a spleen or liver. She had me eating things I thought were taboo (Sorry Kris Carr, but I ate homemade, organic, chicken soup), and on the days I told her how angry I was feeling, she would just say, "That's the liver cleansing itself. BE ANGRY. Don't hold back." And she would just nod her head knowingly and act as if I just said "I won a Noble Prize in Peace".
Really? Shouldn't I be all sunshine, and rainbows and love? "No." And she was right. But in allow the dark times, I stood in the sun way more often.
She encouraged and worked on all levels. Emotional, physical, energetic. And still is. This healing isnt' over, even if the cancer goes away all the way.
So, here is my golden nugget of truth.......find yourself a good acupuncturist. Not one associated with the hospital. My fear is that they are screened to fit the hospitals slant on healing. Ask around the cancer world, find one with a good GROUNDED reputation. I have limit patience for quacks, and "airy" types. Two feet on the ground and a deep knowledge of the human system beyond body parts but not up in the rafters of the spiritual world either.
Neither one is balanced. You need balanced people around you to heal.
Trust you instincts, not other peoples opinions here. This is an intuitive process and trust your own voice.
I am currently awaiting word from Stella if she is open to more patients. Until then, ask around. If she is open for more people, I will post her contact info here.
Sunshine, happiness, and rainbows!