Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Re-emerging ...slowly

I am touched at the number of people wondering about the status of this blog. I haven't abandoned this project/blog. I have just been in the state of deeeeeep adjustments. Fundamental life stuff, like the beams and posts of a building needing replacement. I am almost there. Almost there.

A beautiful new home, one I hope to stay in for a long long long time. I finally finally feel like I found my home in Seattle. Like someone plugged me back in. I've traded the quiet forests of the Cascades for the semi-city life of the waterfront. I love both. But this is the best of all worlds and I am charging up.

But still in adjustments. A lot of big fundamental changes. I will leave it at that.

I am also pondering the direction of this blog. I have batted around ideas. It's origins were to inform friends and family. But it is going way beyond that.

I have had requests for writings, books, etc for the past year, and wasn't in a position to write. But in this new place I have a desk, that peaks at the Puget Sound, Vashon Island, and the ferry going back and forth. The light is streaming in 100 year old windows, taller than me,

in every room. I miss the light of Arizona, this comes in a close second, making me wish I was a cat, that could curl up in the light on a rug and be done for the day.

But this space, the light, the new beginning is allowing room again for creative energy and my creative center, shut down too long, is starting to churn.

So this blog, I think, will be a catchall. It isn't going to be all about cancer, because my life is not all about cancer. My life is about who I am...and cancer is just this part of the journey.

I had the honor of being interviewed for a book recently. And she asked me what is it I want to say, while I have a platform to say anything, that could help someone going through a challenge in their life. And it all came back to what I was doing BEFORE I was diagnosed with the damndable little "c".

So that is what this blog is going to be about. Creating a toolbox for life's challenges so when the winds of change come, your center will ALWAYS be there. The core of WHO you are is unchanging. And life challenges, like cancer, try hard to make us forget and go into slumbers until the ache and discomfort of living out of alignment with ourselves calls us back to do the work. To unearth the "why did I come here to planet earth? What is my purpose?" starts to nag at us.

That was my work before my period of disorientation occured. I am not WHO I was before in so many ways. How I view the world has fundamentally changed. YET....WHO I am has not. What awakens my curiousity, challenges me to grow and expand, reconnects me to feeling a part of something greater than just ME....that has not changed.

And this blog will become my journey to remember that part of myself and in turn, to share what I have learned through my life.

This is the ONE thing I kept wanting to share during that interview...doing the work of knowing WHO you are at your core BEFORE life throws you for a loop, will help you recover, learn, and intergrate much more quickly. During these times of challenge, you can either adapt, learn and grow, or cave in, give up, and die before your dead. If your reading this blog, you are probably in the former group. Wanting to learn, challenge yourself, grow.

You will hear some of my cancer journey here. I will indeed post helpful links and what I have learned. I will also post writings, research papers from my Health Psychology school days, and things that inspire and interest the creative hearts.

Because, I am not cancer. It is a huge influence, challenge, and personal growth instigator in my life. I am not ignoring it. But it is time to share all over myself. Not just part. How I am "doing" updates are easy to get if you call, or write. If you don't know me personally, you will have to just know I am well enough to be writing, if I am, and that is all that matters.

I am going to get back to that paintbrush and yoga mat aspect of this blog now. ;)

Thanks for sticking with me during the break!
Jenna

2 comments:

Melisa said...

It is so good to see you here! I've missed you! Life is just so crazy with school and life, but the quarter ends on the 11th so maybe I'll have a minute or two for a couple of weeks! All my love to all of you - Bug, too!

Becoming Pollyanna said...

you are beautiful... :)