No no no, not THOSE potted plants that the state of washington made legal for people like me. I don't do the whacky weed.
I went to the Center for Spiritual Living Sunday, like I have all summer. And we had a guest speaker. I believe you can hear the whole talk HERE. I myself, didn't get all into the whole talk. Maybe I was more inspired by the convertible mustange, red, with the hood down in the parking lot SHOWING me manifestation of our dreams. But one thing leapt out....I had to share:
He talked about how potted plants can get root bound and die. You have to give the plant a bigger and bigger pot or piece of land grown in, or the roots choke themselves out. In order to let a plant thrive, you move it to a bigger pot, and those roots start to force their way out into the darkness and the unknown, to seek out the new nutrition they need to grow. Those roots take up the life force they need and thrive not by staying small and wound tight, but by reaching out into what''s new and untapped and unknown. Rock it! So cooooool. Sooooo true.
It just sticks with me. With SO many change this year, I sometimes feel like I am on the verge of just crumbling under the weight. But as Dida says, rest, and when you feel rested, and not in pain, decide from THERE how you REALLY feel. Otherwise your reptilian brain, the part responsible for the classic fight or flight response sets in, and you can only make decision based on fear. Usually fear of the unknown.
My biggest fear is that I am CRAZY trying to raise a young child, undergoing chemo, surgery, and no family around for 1,000s of miles. AM I NUTS! I just free fall into faith in a new day when things get overwhelming. And guess what, I AM doing it. We are both still here, still happy, still loving, still living. I AM doing it (albeit maybe a grumpy mamma somedays), we are making out way out into the dark, the unknown, and drawing up the life force we need to thrive.
It gets easier with time to practice this. The art of Faith.
I had a discussion with someone tonight, whom I consider a friend I deeply appreciate, and was hearing about a tough time she was going through with a close family member. Her family member was ill, and it was out of her hands to help. The choice is now her family members to make. To make the changes to live, or die. And I just got a reminder how it might be for some of you out there. Watching from the outside, wanting to help. Hearing/reading emails from teary eyed friends from far away wishing they could hop a plane to help on those hard days I feel like I am going to break. Perspective, gaining perspective for YOUR part in this journey.
Cancer is NOT a disease of an individual. It's effects and lessons ripple through the entire community around the person plodding their way through (or leaping and laughing their way through) or how ever they cope.
Thanks for being the net, and all the prayers and all the support in ANYWAY you give it. Wether it be strange summer squash turning up at the back door, the mowed lawn, the clean kitchen sink, or the phone call or email saying "Thinking of you!", or the pray at the end of the day.
Rock on Cancer Rebels, rock on.
Love to you and as that speaker said, "Stay conscious"