Thursday, September 1, 2011

Parenting Support and the Cancer Journey

I just dropped the kiddo off at school. I am rather tired today, but I have been here before. And I have so much emotional grieving going on, that it is adding to the fatigue feeling. But that is why living near/with dependable people who are willing to drive her to school is so I import t. Just knowing I have these resources makes me breathe easier, only once have I asked. However this is the key to cancer journeys and especially to parents with cancer.....reliable, dependable, loving support.

When you know you have it, I swear it makes it all easier. I think without it, I would feel much more ill and unable to do as much as I do. Just knowing I can make a call, or knock on a door, and I can say "chemo is treating me meeeeeeean today". Yet again, because I know it is there, I am more able to do it on my own. Just knowing someone out there is watching and can say "you sure, we are here".

If I am too self absorbed, and so internal the past few months with all the changes, I just want to stop and publicly say "THANK YOU". Anytime you've ever offered or said yes, thank you! That one act of acknowledgement of the struggles that can pop up is enough to hold me up for weeks.

Any parent needs this, any single parent requires this, and it is vital when any illness affecting the lives of parents. It is also such a hard line for both sides. Those watching sometimes want to help, but don't know when it is intrusive or inappropriate. Often times, the person with the chronic illness knows the impact it has on the lives of those arou d them the most, and worry about overbearing on those closest. Yet somehow within this dance, it all works out.

I once had a friend, who is an amazing DOER, always up front of the charge for someone in need. She said one day to me, "I wish I could get this kind of help!". It was rather telling how isolated we've become, with families splintered. However many toes you might accidentally step on, asking for help is usually the hardest part. I HATE it. I am self sufficient. I am capable. Oh no, I am still those things most times, but I am forced to be vulnerable one. Forced to ask for help, when I would rather eat slugs. Hahaha. But I have floundered in my attempts at times, because usually when I need it the most, I am the "not myself". It throws people off. But I am learning, sometimes painfully, but I am learning.

So, the when parenting with cancer? How do you balance? I know there were a few readers who had cancer and children. Would you be willing to add to the discussion? How did you manage during your course of treatment? For those with chronic conditions, how do you manage without burning people out? Please, if you will, let your coping methods be known, it will help others. My traffic is spiking to 80 readers a day. So I know your out there...come and join the discussion!

One very tired, but making it work today mamma,

Anyone know how to add pictures on the iPad. I can only use the HTML eature to write, not compose. And the buttons don't seem to work. Any idea? Thanks!

1 comment:

The Days of Life for Boones & a Teachout said...

Hi Jenna! I just came across your blog and read just a little about you. I am glad to see you do have support to help you with your daughter and you during this time. I just want you to know that I am walking in Atlanta, (in 49 days) the Susan G Komen 3 day 60 mile walk for breast cancer. And I will walk for you!

Thinking of you! Christy