So, since taking Neurontin to help the side effects of the current treatments, my life is turning around. It really feels like I am coming out of a cocoon. It all feels like it is behind me. If it weren't for the painful joints/bones, I would swear the last year was all a dream, but those pains remind me to keep eating healthy, and to remember to place myself first in the line of "to dos". I had not realized how in a depressive funk I had gone. It was so slow and sneaky. I knew I was fighting it. Everyday, I got up and felt like I was pushing a boulder up a hill, trying to keep the funk from becoming a full out depressive state. The Femara and Lupron were really doing a hack and slash on my mental/emotional/physical state.
But now that I am standing here, mentally, emotionally, and almost physically stronger....it is hard to believe what I just traversed.
I just feel like I can do and handle anything in life now. Life still has it's share of hurts and trials, I just don't doubt I have to the tools to handle them. And new founded faith in my own strength is finally set in.
With that, I am moving forward! In January and February, my posts were far apart because I was so mentally fogged by the treatments. But now, my posts are infrequent because I have a life again. Not so much couch time. No so much nap time.
I am beginning a business/service venture I actually had a vision of when I was 19. I was driving down the road, not thinking of anything but the beauty of the Arizona dessert at nighttime, when BAM, visions of my future race by, like a movie screen. I saw so much detail, including my daughter. Yes, in this vision, I had ONE child, and she was about 7. She is almost 6 now.
So, this is why I always knew I was going to make it through this. I held to this vision I saw at 19. Strange, but true. I even wrote it all down and sealed it in an envelope....which I opened during chemo treatment.
And what was inside the envelope is finding me now. It feels like a synergic effect happening. With very little effort, and perfect timing, I see it all coming to fruition.
One of the most exciting developments is that my dear friend and mentor, Marcia Wiley, a local glass artist, is handing me the reins of her long running creative workshops! I will begin faciliating her Artist Way Seattle workshops! Thank you Marcia for the honor!
At what timing! In May, I receive my Soul Collage faciltator certificate. I will be "offical". What a compliment to Artist Way.
Meanwhile, I have begun writing a book that will be for anyone with cancer, caretaking someone with cancer, or social workers and therapists to use with their clients. It is not going to be autobiographical. It will provide easy to use tools to help those going through cancer treatments become self empowered to keep their spirits high. While the body may be going through so much, we CAN still cultivate our sense of well-being to be strong and bright. I will bring together my experiences with treatment, my education in Healthy Psychology, and the tools presented to me by the remarkable people surrounding me on the journey. (No, I don't have a publisher, but if anyone has some practical advise on self publishing, or how to get your book published, please let me know!) I am very excited to write this, and will even make xerox copies and hand them out, because I see a need for this as I sit in the waiting rooms and watch, and listen. This is my gift....
But that is all I will say for now.....
I will bring you Installment Number 2 - Alternative Therapies I Used.....soon.
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