The Nuts and Bolts of the Last Leg of Chemo

So, just back from my Zometa/Herceptin/Abraxane day. It was really nice to have a week to get back on my feet! I went in ready to go.

The doc was excited, and seemed certain that the end of the year would see the end of Abraxane! (The chemo drug). We will then switch over to the long term game plan. I will tell you that when I know for sure the details. But it will involve Herceptin, and Zometa once a month for (how long???). And maybe a therapy that stops Estrogen production in my body.

And just to clarify. I am not in Remission...yet. I don't think I used that word after the last scans. But just to be clear, it is NOT remission. (eh'em, mom). I don't want to be in remission yet, because I still have cancer in my body we can easily find. We want remission to be as clear of cancer as we can be.

One last clarification....the bones. I was uncertain of what was going on with my bones. The "sites" are still there, but not active. i guess it looks different on bones. So, sites still exsists, but they are not hypermetabolic. If you have any questions, just write me.

Okay, off to rest.
Hugs to everyone
Jenna

From 52 to 48 with Love Project

Once again, Jen Lemen has led me to a very inspiring idea. Ze Frank is doing a little project to heal with tensions between the reds and the blues. The 52 to 48s need a little love-fest. He wanted the 52's to send out peace and unity to the 48's. And from looking at the pics, the love is going round.

My family is Red all over. I am the "Blue"sheep of the family. So this is my token to you all you Reds out there. Go find out more!
Franks Site.
The 52 to 48 site.

I plan to add my own 2cents worth. But first I have to go get radioactive and scanned (to make sure the heart is handling the medications well). I will add my own pic here. For now, this is my fav.

Peace!
Jenna




this is my pic -------->

Bad Poetry for a Rainy Day - My thoughts in prose

Jazz is sliding like silk through the air.
Rain is dancing on pavement, like a drum.
The sun is so tucked away,
the house is like a cave.
I need a fire.
My vanity is kicking in, fiesty, but in check.
My hair is thinning, I prefer a wig.
My face is puffy, but so is my body, so they balance out.
My jeans protest my attempts to button them.
I don't care.
I've got jazz, and drip drip drippy rain of November.
Oh, and my breath. I've got my breath.
And good friends who are patient.
Birthday's overlooked while I huddle under covers,
waiting for nausea to pass.
And doctors who smile hopefully, proud of their work.
The thought of sitting around a Thanksgiving table is bittersweet.
Not this year.
But the thought of Thanksgivings past,
filled with laughter,
family frustrations,
and a good card game while the football games play,
well, the memory is celebratory enough for today.
The rain is beautiful,
against the last golden leaf on a bare birch tree.
I want to hug the world.

Jenna

Vote vote vote

I am going to spare you all the voting talk. Did you vote? If you didn't know it was voting day, you probably aren't informed enough to vote. So let's take a fun story break from your election coverage:

This weekend Bug did a elaborate magic show for me. It was cute. It was typical 5 year old.

Then, the surprise ending:

"If you've enjoyed the tricks you've seen here today, you will find how to do them in my book, which will be available for sale after the show."

Oh dear. I have a entrepreneur.

Jenna

A Much Needed Break

Today, weepy from fatigue, I drug myself to chemo. And much to my surprise, my doc (very congenial today) said I have been going at this for a long time, things are looking good, and my counts are up....and if I needed a week off, I could take it. Get a break, regroup, regain, and restart next week. It was up to me, but she felt confident it would be fine to take a break. From a week of Zometa reactions, to a head cold week, to a week of exhaustion and the mystery stomach/GI nausea that only 2 serious drug could even begin to ease..I am tired.....but I wasn't sure if I wanted to take a break....and I wavered. I knew it wouldn't hurt to do the chemo, but I realized as I could barely keep my head up and not cry, that I needed a break to regain some strength. So I took it. We just did Herceptin this week. Wew.

I am sooooooooooooo worn out. I hope this helps.

She actually gave me a countdown...7 weeks. ;) (in theory - she added).
What a Christmas present that will be (8 weeks)

T-minus 7....

Any extra kindness are much appreciate this week,
sorry to everyone, I am going to have to put fun/hangout visits off another week,
Jenna

2 am gratitude list

So, I am up, it is 2 a.m. I am really not feeling well again today. Such bad heartburn, I am still up at 2. So worn out. Wew. Fatigue, nausea, heartburn, paleness. Three meds later. Wew.

So I am going to make a gratitude list. "You nut! It is 2 a.m. You feel like shit!" Exactly. No better time to be grateful. No fancy color though, I am too tired:

- amazing anti-nausea drugs that have made chemo less torturous for millions of people.
- ginger tea
- dandelion root tea
- an all natural latex/wool mattress
- comfy cheap pillows to replace the expensive uncomfortable one
- a Dear Santa list from Bug that included a "stuffed tangerine tree" from My Father Dragon. She made this request up. There is no Tangerine tree, but in the book. And she wants one stuffed to cuddle with.
- needlefelting - so I can make said Tangerine Tree
- lorazapame kicking in, finally sleep might take over
- WedMD describing the difference between a heart attack and heart burn (I was pale as a ghost)
- Bug hanging out with me while I lay in bed all day. Reading to ME, instead of me to her. What a trooper.
- Neighbors who still do trick or treating.
- sleep. I am going to try to get some now.

Blessings,
Jenna

Coming out of Flu Haze/Zometa Reaction

Thanks to those patient souls who are still with me here. That is the longest stretch of quiet there has been on this blog. You know it is not so good when I am quiet for that long.

I've mentioned why. First...Zometa. That darn drug. I talked with the doctor about it. I may do some more research on my own. But according to the doc, despite my knock down reaction, she doesn't think it is doing any lasting damage. Me, I am not settled with that answer. Something is saying 'YUCK' in my body every time. Is my body saying that for a reason...like "This is going to burn out this vital organ." She says, no, and plans to keep me on it. Once a month of a flu.......hmmmmmm.

Follow that up with a headcold. 5 days.

Follow chemo up on Monday with a drop down drag out battle for my GI system. I won't get into details, but several off hour calls where made, and THREE anti-nausea drugs were recommended all within an hour. It was scary and painful, but it is done. The origin??? Once again, "we aren't sure". (total silence). At least my regular nurse is back and she is very patient and reassuring. The temp one was nice, just couldn't read her well. We hadn't gotten into that patient/nurse understanding.

Today, I feel down right normal. But I keep crashing out. Feel great, then have to lay down. Almost there. Allllllllllmooooooooooooooooost there.

I can't wait to know what it will be like to be tumour free AND off chemo. But I still have a month and a half or so left. And I want to keep it from dragging me down in what they call "the cumliative effect".

I have picked up crafting again. Not back to the much more intricate and thoughtout collages, but grounding and simple things like needlefelting and knit. My collage work requires a lot more quiet time, "zone" time. The crafting, is something I can put down any given moment and pick up again later and not have to find my way "back" to the train of thought/experiences that got me to the point where I left off.

The other thing that has has my what attention I could give was creating a Shutterfly account of family pictures. NO, I am not making that public. But I will share fun photos that are not family related here. Like this one. I love this one. It is of a pumpkin vine. Yep, same plant as below, just a close up of the spiral.

That is the very dry, laundry list style update. But I am still here. I was just too sick to write.

Happy Halloween.
Jenna