god bless Stella...such an amazing healer. I am so grateful for the multiple levels on which she works to help you heal.
Which brings me around to music...
Finding the feminine. Calling her back up again. She is getting lost in chemoland. Blagh.
"But Jenna,", I hear some of you protest, "this musician below is a dude. A hairy dude, but none the less, a dude playing music. how is this calling back the feminine?"
Let me 'xplain.
Okay. there is much too much talk of people hiking, and kayaking, and bellydancing, and finding themselves in forests. Now this earth, she is a SHE. And I miss her. I miss smelling rain on a hiking path. Or hearing owls freak me out with their wild calls at night. I miss dangling from cliffs looking for Apache ruins, and I miss sleeping in a tent.
The Earth is a She. And She is ALIVE and full of destruction and creation. All in one.
I know, I know, I got this cancer biting away at my bones, this veretabra. Damn. I wanna climb again. I want to learn to surf. I want my body back in shape so I can do Tree Pose even. I can't even do Tree Pose anymore! AH! I am getting antsy.
Now now now, this is NOT a pity party. More of an angry party in my head. I am allowed to get angry about all this sometimes. Sitting around a fire beating a drum, and pounding the earth, calling up something inside me. If I can't go there with my body, I will go there in my mind and remember all the great hikes.
But my god....I feel thirsty for it.
So, I turn to my dear Xavier Rudd (yes, the hairy hobbit dude who so AMAZING captures the voice of She Earth and all her sexiness). And close my eyes, and remember the waves, or the large cedars towering above me at night, and use it as motivation to kick cancers ass. Can you tell I am feeling fiesty tonight?
So if my many damaged vertebra and hips can't shake it, or hike it, or climb it, I can close my eyes, listen and remember when I stood in the Arizona desert in the middle of the night, shaking my rattle with the others under a full moon, and dancing around a campfire again with REAL drums playing around me, and friends stomping the earth along side me.
But for now, motivation to keep healing when the healing gets tough.....