Friday, September 26, 2008


So, this is an old post, but seems to be a good time to remember this for me:

I am not my disease.
I think of disease more as a verb, not a noun or an adjective because it is transit as all disease is. It has a beginning, middle and end.
It is just a stop along my way that will teach me and transform me.
It will fall away, and become my past and inform my choices in the future.
But all that matters is Now.
When I let fear in, I remind myself that all that matters is Now.
My fear is usually not of anything present,
but what I fear might transpire.
So I return to the moment I am in.
And the truth usually is:
Now, my heart is beating.
Now, my body is tired.
Now, it is full of energy
Now, I am in intense pain.
Now I am free of pain.
Now I rejoice in the beautiful energy of life.
When I fear what isn't there,
I lose my moment to live Now.
That is all we have.
Moment to moment.
That was true before anybody named my form of disease.
We all have our own brand.
Sometimes, someone naming a passing disease,
just brings that reality of NOW into acute awareness.
We can use that intense awareness of "all we have is now"
like a salve to heal any disease we have in our minds and spirits-
and thus return some strength to our bodies.
Pain, illness, disease are part of life,
suffering is optional.
That is true, even when I forget it.
Please remember this,
I am so much more than a disease.



MiMi said...

Dearest Jenna,
Have I told you how PROUD I am of you lately!! (tears flowing here). You started writing as a child (I have the package of yellowed papers I will send you) and it brings me joy to see how you use your writing to help others and think through your own journey.
I Love You

Kent, Melisa,Tiana (and Coda) said...

Yes, you are a lovely person, a loving person, a whole person, a wonderful wife, a doting mother, a dear friend, you just are NOT cancer! Sending you love today and the ray of sunshine that is gracing my backyard as I write this!

MiMi said...

Just as powerful as the first time around.
I am sending you love, energy and healing prayers this morning. Miss you all.
Love Mom

A Favorite saying on my desk picture:
The Essence of Compassion;
"Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and wrong....because sometime in your life you will have been all of these."