Hello friends, family, and lurkers of the saga.
Pulling out of the new drug "horrid" zone. Nasty nasty week physically.
But it is passing. And I am moving on.
Onto practical matters. And matters of faith, giving, and receiving.
We need to talk. This a two-fold entry.
I have heard, one to many times, value judgements placed upon yourselves for what you can/cannot do, or give of yourself to help.
What it means to GIVE of yourself must really evolve.
RULES FOR "GIVING" (wether it be money, time, effort):
- Give from the heart (not pity or fear, or shame, but hope and love)
- Give only what you have free (to do so, this means you must build up reserve)
- Give of yourself (if you are a painter, would you offer to do my taxes? No! Give you talent)
- DO NOT JUDGE WHAT YOU CAN OR CANNOT GIVE!!!!!!!!!! This blocks the flow of giving and you tend to "give up". eek! If the goal is to help, this really doesn't.
Listening for 2 minutes to me cry = driving me to chemo.
Cooking me a homemade meal = sending me a card.
Sending $50 to help cover costs = $1000
ZERO listening = Jenna gets depressed
ZERO driving = Jenna doesn't get to chemo with stress
We are generous beings, but we tend to judge what is "good" giving.
We must think creatively and authenically when we help others. We MUST honor what our gifts are and give them to the pool. When we trust that we are all apart of the a larger net. This is what happens:
"I am a great cook, I will give that because this week, I can." Jenna is fed and healed.
"I can't help pay for a nanny directly, but I know how to run a yardsale, maybe I could raise money that way" Jenna can pay for a anti-nausea drug for a week.
"I know I have a peaceful heart right now, I can listen". Jenna can cry or laugh, and be healed.
When we view giving in very rigid terms, this all breaks down. The flow stops.
"I can't give much, so I won't at all" is just the silliest thing in the universe. It stops the flow.
Please don't judge what you can or can not give (time, assistance, money, friendship time). I value each and every effort. Sometimes, it really is the smallest thing that renews me energy and gives me the feeling that I am support and can relax into healing.
IT ALL MEANS SOMETHING AND IT ALL HELPS ME HEAL WHEN IT IS GENUINE AND DONE WITH HEART.
I think of it like rain in a dried garden. Every drop counts if the cloud has it to give.
This is my lesson. To receive. To ASK ( ouch! that pride).
Don't judge. Just do whatever you do with love, hope, and/or faith in the bigger picture.
Love to you all.
Part two in the next entry.